I'm laying in your front yard are you home
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Randomize
