NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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