Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
