Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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