your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
