Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Someone stole a lamp last night.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
