he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
