we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
