i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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