Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
