So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
