I am full of burrito and curiosity
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
