I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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