And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
