Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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