nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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