I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
what day is it and did you see me today?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
