i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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