I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
