If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
