so explain again why im purple
no
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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