hotel room ftw
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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