it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
