I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
