I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
