He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
