yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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