wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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