whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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