Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
