I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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