you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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