How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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