i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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