Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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