i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
