I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
