I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
