And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
