therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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