Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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