So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
