I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
