Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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