I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
