Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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