I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
