SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
