I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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