i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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