i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
