you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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